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Will I ever meet a man who has a similar sex drive to me?

Advice by Zelda West-Mead


Although I have never married, I have had three long-term partners. After two to three years I have got bored with the sexual side, though I have not wanted to lose my partners. I like sex occasionally but hate being obliged to engage in it, and I have never understood its importance in relationships. People tell me I should seek help, but I would not seek help to eat more if my appetite was sated. At 54, am I doomed to be alone or could there be a man out there who is not particularly interested in sex but would like a relationship?

It's a popular myth that all men are testosterone driven and ready for sex all the time. Just like women, some men have a high sex drive and others have a low one, but they are not going to walk around advertising the fact. So it's just a question of meeting men in the usual way. Join an organisation, such as your local rambling club or the National Trust, where you can make friends and enjoy social events. Take up a hobby that isn't too female-oriented. Avoid men who want to rush into a sexual relationship or have a track record of infidelity. When you get to know a man better, be open about your attitude to sex, then you will both know what to expect from each other.

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